WAYS TO TELL IF YOU ARE TOO OBSESSED WITH PEARL JAM

(WHICH IS NOT A BAD THING BY THE WAY!!!)





1. You try to find Pearl Jam quotes to suit every occasion





2. You don't understand why everyone looks at you blankly when you put these quotes to use





3. You name your pet after a member of Pearl Jam





4. You name your child after a member of Pearl Jam





5. You name your child after a song by Pearl Jam ("Oh, honey, isn't little Animal sweet?")





6. You regularly kiss your Eddie Vedder poster goodnight





7. You regularly French-kiss your Eddie Vedder poster goodnight





8. You regularly French-kiss your Eddie Vedder poster goodnight... and you're a straight man





9. You regularly do things to your Eddie Vedder poster that aren't legal in Utah





10. You get a tattoo of the little "Alive" stickman





11. You get a tattoo of the "No Code" symbol





12. You get a tattoo of Eddie's face





13. You boast that you have all of Pearl Jam's albums





14. You boast that you have all of Pearl Jam's albums, singles, and demos





15. You boast that you have all of Pearl Jam's albums, singles, demos, t-shirts, and bootlegs

    of every concert they've ever played





16. You refer to Eddie as "the Great One"





17. You've placed voodoo curses on everyone who works for or is in any way connected to

    Rolling Stone





18. You talk about "the boys" as if you actually know them





19. One cannot walk into your room without seeing dozens, if not scores, of items of Pearl Jam

    memorabilia - CDs, posters, stickers, t-shirts, calenders, books, tickets from past shows,

    drawings, comic books, magazine covers, newspaper clippings





20. One cannot walk into your room without stumbling over your "shrine to Vedder"





21. You're an artist and wish there was an "Ames School of Fine Art"





22. You volunteer for charities Pearl Jam contribute to in the hopes of meeting them in person





23. You dressed as Eddie for Halloween





24. You turn up the volume, dance, sing along, etc. every time a Pearl Jam song comes on the

    radio, even though you've heard them all at least a thousand times





25. You listen to the Frogs, Hovercraft, and the Fastbacks, even though you secretly hate them,

    just to "listen to what *he* likes"





26. You listen to Mother Love Bone, even though you secretly hate them

    (did Andrew Wood try too hard to sound like Steven Tyler or what?),

    because Stone and Jeff were in that band





27. You've memorized all of the lyrics to Pearl Jam's songs, and quote from them freely





28. Your e-mail address has some kind of Pearl Jam reference, such as "Vedderly1@blah-blah.com",

    "dissident@yada.yada.edu" or "Lukin@etc.org"





29. You have a Pearl Jam shirt for every day of the week





30. Your nickname is "P.J." even though your name is Ralph

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