Technical Support Calls

These are all supposedly real tech calls. Kind of strikes a blow against evolution 
doesn't it? 

A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. 
Tech Support: "Are you running it under Windows." 
Woman: "No, my desk is next to the door. But that's a good point. The man sitting in 
       the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his is working fine." 


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Overheard in a computer shop: 
Customer: "I'd like a mouse mat, please." 
Salesperson: "Certainly sir, we've got a large variety." 
Customer: "But will they be compatible with my computer?" 


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Customer in computer shop: "Can you copy the Internet onto this disk for me?" 


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Tech Support: "All right...now double-click on the File Manager icon." 
Customer: "That's why I hate this Windows - because of the icons - I'm a Protestant, 
           and I don't believe in icons." 
Tech Support: "Well, that's just an industry term sir. I don't believe it was meant to--" 
Customer: "I don't care about any 'Industry Terms'. I don't believe in icons." 
Tech Support: "Well...why don't you click on the 'little picture' of a filing cabinet...
              is 'little picture' OK?" 
Customer: [click] 


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Customer: "My computer crashed!" 
Tech Support: "It crashed?" 
Customer: "Yeah, it won't let me play my game." 
Tech Support: "All right, hit Control-Alt-Delete to reboot." 
Customer: "No, it didn't crash--it crashed." 
Tech Support: "Huh?" 
Customer: "I crashed my game. That's what I said before. I crashed my spaceship and now 
          it doesn't work." 
Tech Support: "Click on 'File,' then 'New Game.'" 
Customer: [pause] "Wow! How'd you learn how to do that?" 


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A man attempting to set up his new printer called the printer's tech support number,
complaining about the error message: "Can't find the printer." On the phone the man 
said he even held the printer up in front of the screen, but the computer still 
couldn't find it. 


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Another user was all confused about why the cursor always moved in the opposite direction 
from the movement of the mouse. She also complained that the buttons were difficult to 
depress. She was very embarrassed when we asked her to rotate the mouse so the tail 
pointed away from her. 


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An unfailingly polite lady called to ask for help with a Windows installation that had
gone terribly wrong. 
Customer: "I brought my Windows disks from work to install them on my home computer." 
          (Training stresses that we are "not the Software Police," so I let the little 
          act of piracy slide.) 
Tech Support: "Umm-hmm. What happened?" 
Customer: "As I put each disk in it turns out they weren't initialized." 
Tech Support: "Do you remember the message exactly, ma'am?" 
Customer: (proudly) "I wrote it down. 'This is not a Macintosh disk. Would you like to 
          initialize it?'" 
Tech Support: "Er, what happened next?" 
Customer: "After they were initialized, all the disks appeared to be blank. And now I 
          brought them back to work, and I can't read them in the A drive; the PC wants 
          to format them. And this is our only set of Windows disks for the whole office. 
          Did I do something wrong?"