Another Tech Support Call

The following is the reputedly accurate transcript of a call to a technical help desk. 



Help Desk Operator: "Technical assistance, how may I help you?" 

Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with my word-processing program." 

Help Desk Operator: "What sort of trouble?" 

Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away." 

Help Desk Operator: "Went away?" 

Caller: "They disappeared." 

Help Desk Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" 

Caller: "Nothing." 

Help Desk Operator: "Nothing?" 

Caller: "It's blank. It won't accept anything when I type." 

Help Desk Operator: "Are you still in the program, or did you get out?" 

Caller: "How do I tell?" 

Help Desk Operator: "Can you see the 'C' prompt on the screen?" 

Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?" 

Help Desk Operator: "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?" 

Caller: "There isn't any cursor. I told you, it won't accept anything I type." 

Help Desk Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator?" 

Caller: "What's a monitor?" 

Help Desk Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does 
                    it have a little light that tells you when it's on?" 

Caller: "I don't know." 

Help Desk Operator: "Well, then, look on the back of the monitor and find where the
                    power cord goes into it. Can you see that?" 

Caller: "Yes, I think so." 

Help Desk Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged 
                    into the wall." 

Caller: "Yes, it is." 

Help Desk Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were 
                    two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?" 

Caller: "No." 

Help Desk Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find 
                    the other cable." 

Caller: "Okay, here it is." 

Help Desk Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the 
                    back of your computer." 

Caller: "I can't reach." 

Help Desk Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?" 


Caller: "No." 

Help Desk Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?" 

Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark." 

Help Desk Operator: "Dark?" 

Caller: "Yes. The office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the
        window." 

Help Desk Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then." 

Caller: "I can't." 

Help Desk Operator: "Why not?" 

Caller: "Because there's a power outage." 

Help Desk Operator: "A power.... a power outage? Ah, okay, we've got it licked now. 
                    Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your 
                    computer came in?" 

Caller: "Yes, I keep them in the closet." 

Help Desk Operator: "Good. Go get them, then unplug your system and pack it up just like 
                    it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it 
                    from." 

Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?" 

Help Desk Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is." 

Caller: "Well, all right. What do I tell them?" 

Help Desk Operator: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."