Parents

Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort
from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to God's
kids. After Creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.

And the First thing he said was: "Don't".

"Don't what?" Adam replied.
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit," God said.
"Forbidden fruit? We got forbidden fruit? Hey, Eve... we got forbidden fruit!"
"No way!"
"Yes, way!"
"Don't eat that fruit!" said God.
"Why?"
"Because I am your Father and I said so!" said God (wondering why he hadn't 
stopped after making the elephants).

A few minutes later God saw his kids having an apple break and was angry.

"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked 
"Uh huh," Adam replied.
"Then why did you?"
"I dunno" Eve answered.
"She started it!" Adam said.
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
"DID NOT!!"

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and
Eve should have children of their own, Thus the pattern was set and it
has never changed. 

But there is reassurance in this story: If you have persistently and lovingly tried to
give them wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God
had trouble handling children, what makes you think it should be a piece of cake for you?

Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache,
do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two and keep away from the children.  Amen!!


CHILDREN You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. 
Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and shut-up. 
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Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your children. 
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Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young. 
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Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. 
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The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that 
there are children more awful than your own. 
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We child proofed our home 3 years ago and they're still getting in! 
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>Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home