Little One Liners
Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the
men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way
his mother cooked.
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An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested
no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her
memorial service, she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was
alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.
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A police recruit was asked during the exam, 'What would you do if you
had to arrest your own mother?" He said, "Call for backup,"
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A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus
with them to Jerusalem. A small child replied: "They couldn't get a baby-sitter."
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At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything,
including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when
they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in
the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill,
and said, Johnny what is the matter?
Little Johnny responded, "I have a pain in my side. I think I'm going
to have a wife."
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A very dirty little fellow came in from playing in the yard and asked
his mother, "Who am I? " Ready to play the game she said, "I
don't know! Who are you?"
"WOW!" cried the child. "Mrs. Johnson was right! She said I was so
dirty, my own mother wouldn't recognize me!"
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Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with
her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "Honor
thy father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that
teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill,"
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A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed
them to go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
Annie replied, "Because people are sleeping,"
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A wise schoolteacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of
school: "If you promise not to believe everything your child says
happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says
happens at home.
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